E-mail to McSnot Gobbler

The following was sent to The Tartan McReich's Führer:

'Dear Tartan McReich's Führer

You are unique in Br*tish political history. Not only are you universally loathed and despised as no other politician has been but you are the first PM I have ever heard anyone wish to see assassinated, and many do, even though you have saved the world. That's an impressive achievement (not the Saviour thing), and one that you can add to the destruction of both the 'United ' Kingdom and democracy in England. In a 'Br*tain of the nations and regions' (no mention of England?) run by a mad Scotch control freak addicted to explosive rages it is dangerous to be so frank, especially following the legalised murder of Jean Charles de Menezes and, less catastrophically, the arrest of a sitting MP for presenting to the public considerably fewer leaked documents than you did, but I feel duty bound as an Englishman to tell you that my country, perhaps your country too (and I don't mean 'our country', Tartan McReich's Führer, for 'we' have no country in common) is sick of you and wants you gone. Do the decent thing Gordon and push a spike through your one good eye into the stagnant and diseased Anglophobic mush that passes for your brain. Doubtless you are doing what your parents brought you up to do but you've made a complete cunt of yourself and self-immolation is the only way that you can possibly earn anything approaching the ghost of respect from the English.

You've written a great deal about courage Gordon but I wonder whether you actually have the balls to do the decent thing.

PS: You won't see this, I know, but it just may bring a smile to the face of the poor sod who has to field the myriad less than admiring e-mailed messages of your disenfranchised subjects; either that or a dozen armed 'counter-terrorism' officers in my bedroom while I am asleep, in which case I would offer, for their information: I'm difficult to rouse before noon, and tend to spout insane gibberish (Do I remind you of you?) if woken suddenly, and my wife will be most upset if armed McStasi do not take their boots off before walking on the carpet.'

Reports of an 'accidental' police shooting in Lytham St Annes should be taken with a pinch of salt.

-10 For Originality, Gordon

It was not unusual for loyal communists to write personal appeals to Stalin when arrested for 'counter-revolutinary activity' in the Soviet Union. The poor, deluded fools actually signed their own death warrants when they signed their letters. The Tartan McReich's Führer has clearly been inspired, yet again, by the Soviet example, for the wife of his very own Minister of State for Welfare Reform at the Department for Work and Pensions, and Minister for London, The Rt Hon Tony McNulty, MP (voted very strongly against a transparent Parliament; voted strongly for introducing ID cards; voted very strongly for Labour's anti-terrorism laws; has never done a day's real work in his life), Ms Christine Gilbert, has suggested the establishment of a whistle-blowers' hotline for social workers to report any serious concerns they may have in child welfare cases .

That's the calibre of those who govern in our name: Desperate to be seen to be doing something, they actually have absolutely no idea. While it looks as though they're working hard to prevent further cases such as 'Baby P' Ms Gilbert's suggestion is laughably impractical, given that telephone and internet service providers are now required to keep records of all telephone and internet communications to which any over-mighty jobsworth can have access.

Poor old Gordon. He just doesn't see that we see right through him.

Nothing Ever Changes

Watch this and laugh:

It's a hoot but although the accents and the language have changed, the real message is the same: 'Yes, vote for Politics and you can be certain of the result. Whomever you vote for, life can never be quite as sweet as you were promised'. It's always jam tomorrow but another bloody mess today.

And The Band Plays On

There are eight vacancies for social workers in Blackpool advertised at the Jobcentre Plus web site today, with a salary range of £25,146 - £32,380 per annum, as well as numerous positions for NHS staff of all types, support workers, carers, nursery nurses, clerical officers etc. etc. Yesterday's local evening paper carried just two and a half pages of jobs. Typically, the largest and prettiest advertisements were for public sector posts. Local employment agencies have nothing to offer in the way of real jobs (as in actually making money by making something jobs) and those looking for work locally, such as Gruff (for the second time this year), must also compete with people who are not local by a very long way. Now that the season is over even the deckchair arranging jobs have gone. There's no need to worry, however, for the ship is in capable hands. If only everyone would just make a little more effort at the oars.